In 2018, I purchased the Love Dare book. At the time, I was only hopeful that I may get to use it in a future relationship. Not necessarily a marriage, but to aid in developing the next something serious. As my last post suggested, 2018 ended being less than positive in the relationship business. Possibly the most unfortunate response I’ve had from the failed relationships of 2018 and struggles of being a good Firefighter/EMT, I’ve developed feelings of not even liking myself currently… I’ve always been a little self sacrificing in that trying to make others happy more than myself made me happy. But now, that’s not even enough. When I’m alone, I’m miserable to the point of feeling feverish and ill. The spiral worsens as the feeling of just wanting to be left alone increases. I won’t go so far as to say I hate myself, but I definitely do not like myself as is.
So a few days ago, I decided that I need to love myself again. Narcissistic as that sounds, let it be. I immediately thought of the Love Dare. I went searching my tiny apartment… and of course, couldn’t find it. I let it go and came back to the search again around new years. Found it this time. I still wasn’t 100% sure that I was ready for this or that I needed this. I actually started reading a really depressing novel about a young adult in a psych ward called “Girl in Pieces”… that drove it home that it was time to put that aside before I ended up there and pick up the Love Dare instead.
So tomorrow, 1/5/19, I begin Day 1 of self love and healing. I went ahead and read what it entails, since I know some days will need some modification. I figured I could reflect on the current day and brainstorm for the next each night. Day 1 is about Patience. Lord knows I need to be more patient with myself in all things. God’s timing is greater than my own. Patience is definitely NOT something I’ve been allowing myself lately, so I’m really glad it’s the Day 1 Dare.
My most favorite quote, “Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)
DreamDiane 